Why "Be Yourself"
Navigating through decades of life experience has revealed the following truth to me.
When you strip life bare, when you get to the core, you are here for one reason above all others. To express who you are in all you do. In other words, to be yourself.
Some would call this living your truth. This is easy to forget when life presses on you with its demands. But it's important, even life-changing to remember as you respond.
Trading fear for curiosity and gratitude is key to living fearlessly and embarking on the adventure to be who you were born to be.
This is the purest form of love you can unconditionally express to yourself. It is not a selfish act. Rather, it is the highest regard you can have for the gift that is your life.
Choosing to make this trade and live fearlessly is a brave act that requires the adoption of a new mindset. This does not mean that fear is totally absent from your life. Eradicating all fear is both unachievable and undesirable. The fear emotion can provide valuable, sometimes life-saving feedback. So living fearlessly is not the total elimination of fear. Rather, it is a learned response that puts curiosity in front of fear during life's challenges. Mastering this art is mastering the art of living fearlessly and eliminating the crippling effects of simply reacting, rather than responding to fear, which blocks your path to the fullest, intentional engagement with your life.
Why I call out FEAR
Fear stands between most people and the decisions they must make and act upon to move toward their dreams. Displacing fear may seem a daunting challenge. Fear is a powerful emotion, a powerful force. But the truth is, it can be understood and it can be managed once you understand its true nature. Consider cold. Cold isn't the opposite of hot. Cold is the absence of heat. The same goes for darkness. Dark isn't the opposite of light. Darkness is the absence of light. Heat regulates temperature, from scalding hot to bitter cold. Light regulates illumination, from brilliant white to pitch black darkness.
The concept for fear is similar, but not as obvious since its regulator isn't as universally understood. You see, the regulator for fear, its presumed opposite, isn't courage. The regulator of fear is love. Love in abundance displaces fear. But when love is absent, fear rushes in to fill that void. In the same way that cold can't coexist with heat, and dark can't coexist with light, fear can't coexist with love. This may not be obvious at first, but if you examine and compare the nature of decisions made and actions taken out of fear with those that emerge from love, this truth comes clear.
Fear drives self-serving behavior at others’ expense.
Love acknowledges pain and hardship and seeks relief for all and an equitable sharing of burden.
Fear hides truth that doesn't serve its purpose and offers lies to support its position.
Love always seeks truth.
Fear takes a short-term view.
Love looks to the horizon.
The only way onto the path of fearlessly living a life of your making is by loving powerfully. That's the connection between fear and love. And it's a choice. When you choose to move through life making the most loving choices possible, there is no room for fear. When you choose to move through life governed by fear, love is banished. When love governs, opportunities expand for all. When fear governs, opportunity shrinks around the self-serving. When love drives choices for better long-term solutions, there's no place for fear's shortsighted options. When fear insists on self-serving, short-term gains or protection, love's future is sacrificed. When love seeks the truth, fear can't manipulate it for its own gain. When fear disregards the truth, love has no authentic foundation for the future.
Fear has destroyed families, businesses, and nations, and no amount of courage can neutralize that force. That's not how it works. Only love can neutralize fear. The story of an undesirable future that evokes fear has a different ending entirely when love is introduced into the tale.
Try it out for yourself. Pick any story from your own life that caused fear to take up residence. Betrayal. Divorce. Disease. Financial hardship. Notice your fear in the story, the fear of every actor in the story, and your relationship to each one. Pause. Let this sink in before moving on so you can really feel it. Then, when you're ready, make this shift. Imagine that every single character playing every role in your story is now governed by love instead of fear. Everyone is driven to work toward the most loving outcome possible for everyone. Imagine the dynamics now. Who does what to whom? Who says what to whom and how is it said? How do you feel about the situation now? What are you feeling toward each player in the drama now? Compare this to the potential effect of courage rather than love. Does more and more courage, embodied by each player in the drama, neutralize the fear? Or does it entrench positions and polarize the players?
My hope is that I can help lead you onto a path of living fearlessly by loving powerfully. That I may encourage you and help you to find the clarity and courage to follow your purpose, your bliss. To inspire and help you uncover who you were born to be. To wholeheartedly believe it and embrace it. To find the wisdom and courage to live it. And to ultimately share with others your unique expression of this time you call your life.
I am leading by example and I invite you along as you embark on your adventure of discovery and transition to be yourself and live your truth, each and every day.
If you aren't familiar with my story, I welcome your visit to my About page. The current chapter of my "Be Yourself" journey has been unfolding since 2014. I moved forward with this site guided only by heart-centered intuition, long before I had a plan or any real means for offering assistance beyond the content of this site. The "My Hope" section above has been on the homepage from the beginning, and I have lived up to "leading by example," driven by two persistent questions. "What feeds me?" and "How can I help?" The result was nearly a year of formal training in ontological coaching and the creation of my coaching business. In the end, it is about helping the person in front of you find their way to a better future, regardless of the context. Julio Olalla, co-founder of ontological coaching, calls it "coaching to the human soul." Perfect. I’ll leave it at that.